Why Narcissists Ruin the Holidays
We’re getting into holiday season. This is the danger zone if there is or was a narcissist in your life. They go off the rails at this time of year. I think there are a few reasons. Narcissists guard access to their targets jealously and try to prevent them from having contact with people the narcissist can’t influence or control. That control erodes over the holidays. Other people the target cares about cycle back into their life. This puts the narcissist at risk, because the target is reminded that not everyone is a selfish, demanding manipulator. Seeing other people — especially their targets — being loved sends narcissists into a spiral of envy and self-hatred, because covetousness is the core of their identity. Their targets shopping for gifts for other people is a big trigger. Narcissists often try to take over these duties. Their targets receiving gifts pushes the button even harder. Giving is about manipulation for narcissists. Where we see loved ones exchanging gifts, they see plotters and schemers and people to outdo or undermine.
Narcissists also want to be the center of attention. The holidays create intense competition on that front, and the looming end of the year reminds them of all their failed grandiose plans. They become bitter and go into punishment mode. The ones who are obsessed with social media may become crazed about it or go dark. They nearly always find some…
